Thursday, October 23, 2008

Jordan Shipley aka White Lightning

Jordan Shipley
Burnet (TX) Burnet
Call him White Lightning. Shipley is deceptively fast and has amazing hands to boot.
We love the college game around here because of the ample and hilarious examples of the sports cliche.  Take UT's star wide-out Jordan Shipley, for example.  

In high school, Shipley, the all time Texas High School receiver, ran a 10.41 100 meter and a 4.37 40.  For comparison, on a home fast track, IN COLLEGE, Reggie Bush ran a 4.33.  Devin Hester ran a 4.45 at the NFL combine.

As fast as Reggie Bush, faster than Devin Hester, yet chooses to tell us he's "deceptively fast" and "has amazing hands". gushes about his "good route running", "excellent concentration" (WTF: New Cliche Alert!!),  and that he's a "tough blocker down the field".

Did we mention that he's a "coach's son"?   We are howling!!

Wednesday, October 15, 2008

Roger Goddell Violates Title VII of the Civil Rights Act

The NFL is in violation of Title VII Section of the Civil Rights Act. That's right, Roger Goddell's suspension of Adam "Pacman" Jones, an African-American, has clearly violated Mr. Jones' federally protected rights of employment when compared to the treatment of Matt Jones [no relation to Pacman], a Caucasion Wide Receiver for Jacksonville.

Let's Compare...
Pacman's violation - Drinking at a bar and fighting with his own bodyguard. No charges filed with the police, no complaints from any other bar patrons, and no suspension from his own boss, Jerry Jones. Matt Jones violation - CHARGED by the police in Arkansas with possession of FOUR POUNDS of cocaine with intent to distribute [case is still pending in Arkansas state court]. No suspension from the league at this point.

Title VII employment discrimination claims are reviewed under the burden-shifting framework outlined in McDonnell Douglas v. Green. 411 U.S. 792 at 802 (1973). Under this framework, the plaintiff, Pacman, must first establish, by a preponderance of the evidence, a prima facie case of discrimination. Reeves v. Sanderson Plumbing Products, Inc., 530 U.S. 133, 142 (2000). The burden is one of production and not one of persuasion. Id. If the Plaintiff develops such proof, then the Defendant, Roger Goddell/NFL, must come forward and articulate a legitimate, nondiscriminatory reason for the challenged employment action. McDonnell Douglas, 411 U.S. 792 at 802 (1973). Once the NFL provides sufficient evidence to meet this burden, Pacman must show that he was the victim of intentional discrimination by showing the NFL's proffered explanation of the employment decision is unworthy of credence. Reeves, 530 U.S. 133, at 143 (2000). Pacman can meet this evidentiary burden by either providing evidence of discrimination or evidence establishing the falsity of the NFL's explanation. Id. at 147; See Kanida v. Gulf Coast Med. Pers. LP, 363 F.3d. 568, 574-75 (5th Cir. 2004).

Pacman meets the element of his prima facie case because: (1) he is of a protected class (he's Black); (2) he's qualified for the position of Cornerback in the NFL (Round 1 Draft Choice, two fumble recoveries, and two almost picks...yes he's qualified); and (3) he suffered an adverse employment decision by the hands of the NFL when suspended for at least 5 weeks at $41,000.00 per week while comparably, Matt Jones has not been suspended for selling 4 pounds of White Pony.
To refute this prima facie case of discrimination, Mr. Goddell must articulate a legitimate, non-discriminatory reason for his adverse employment decision. McDonnell Douglas Corp. v. Green, 411 U.S. 792 (1973). In this context, evidence is substantial if it is such as to allow a rational fact finder to make a reasonable inference that a protected factor was a determinative reason for the employment decision.” LaPierre v. Benson Nissan, Inc., 86 F.3d 444, 449 (5th Cir. 1996) (internal citations omitted). According to Mr. Goddell, Pacman's violations have had a "...deleterious affect on the league, his team, and his teammates."

Mr. Goddell cannot explain why providing a living for female employees of breast establishments nationwide, by "Makin' It Rain," hurt a league starving for media attention. Nor can Mr. Goddell justify that a tustle in a bar with one's own body guard warrants financial hardship upon a Brother just trying to earn a spot on an NFL roster. But most importantly, Mr. Goddell truly fails to articulate why selling FOUR POUNDS of Nose Candy does NOT have a deleterious affect on the league or his team.

For the foregoing reasons, Roger Goddell has failed to purport a legitimate, non-discriminatory reason why Pacman gets suspended while Matt Jones, continues to spare us to death. Hence, clear disparate treatment, actionable discrimination, and damages should be cited against the NFL.

Thursday, June 12, 2008

Top 50 Revisited for Athletes of Color

Well, it's here. The reverb. Top 50 Quotes for the Athlete of Color

50. Possesses raw athleticism - Of course.
49. A complete talent - as opposed to incomplete?
48. Brings that dimension of speed to the team - Speed kills
47. Makes the team more athletic - But less of a team
46. Runs with instinct - Fear of dying is definitely instinctual
45. "Look at that boy loaf to the ball, makes the game look easy doesn’t he" - actual quote after a Willy Mays catch in the outfield
44. Not the coach’s favorite, but he can add some punch - Speed kills
43. You wouldn’t want him living next door, but he helps your team - Foreclosures are bad enough on those property values, if you let one in, they'll all come
42. Bred to play the sport - See Jimmy the Greek
41. Flashy - Probably from the gold grill
40. This guys knows how to celebrate -I've got rythm
39. Unlike most days, this will be a mental challenge for him today - A little commentary on the intellect?
38. He’s a more focused athlete when he’s challenged - With child support dues
37. Skilled shooter - Born with a basketball
36. Loves the spotlight - Hubris....that's really Greek isn't it? See no. 42
35. Natural swing - Born with a Bat...or in the case of Tiger...a golf club
34. Gifted rebounder - No need to practice, you're gifted
33. What he lacks in humility, he makes up for in talent - Seeing a cultural pattern here
32. Part of the new style of player - Reference to Circa BBA (Before the Black Athlete)
31. The kids tend to love his type of playmaking ability - Adults just hate his attitude
30. He seems to be really motivated to play today - Must be in between contract years
29. Coaches like him, but progress in the position will depend changing his study habits -
28. I don’t know if this type of thinking offense suits him - Really, too stupid to throw the ball to the open guy five yards in front of him?
27. He tends to play better when he can rely on his instincts - Might as well give him the Playbook for Dummies
26. He will learn not to show so much youthful exuberance -I don't want my kids learning how to spike the ball
25. He’s a credit to the kids from his neighborhood - Now if he can just get rid of that gang tatoo
24. Not so media friendly
23. A type that challenges his teammates and coaches - Attitude problem
22. Play maker on and off the field - Got the child support bills to show it
21. Uses that God given world class speed to his advantage
20. Thanks his proud mom, she had to be both a mother and a father to him
19. Can be an all-star if he puts his mind to it - Laziness
18. Lives a life-style we regular guys only dream about -
17. Ridiculously talented - Gotta be for a complete athlete
16. Will definitely have cute kids - Unfortunately with your sister
15. Has a knack for saying what’s on his mind - Attitude problem
14. One of the most stylish guys in the league -
13. Quick feet for a big man - The Black version of deceptive speed
12. Articulate - Sounds White
11. Well-Spoken - Is White
10. A legend in his own mind - Goes along with the self-promoter
9. A great self-promoter -Backhanded compliment much
8. Not the most intelligent of moves for him there -
7. Non chalant - opposite of gamer
6. With the exception of quarterback, can play any position on the field - Probably because of hte thinking man's offense
5. Must have a touch of something, the eyes look a little glazed today
4. Well groomed - a good guard dog
3. A proud poppa, again and again and again - With your sister and her friends
2. Definitely loves him some him - Needs no explanation
1. "Look at that little monkey run" - Thanks Howard for that classic

Monday, February 18, 2008

Are You Kidd-ing Me?

What I don't understand is what is so great about a guy we had 10 years ago except his back was in better shape back then?

The fact is, Jason Kidd put a NJ team on his back over half a decade ago and beat an eastern conference without boston, NYN, or Chicago even in the top 10. Sure, they did punk an eventual champion in the (rash-weed Wallace free!) Pistons to get punked in return by the Timmer and Shaq/Kobe but my take on the eastern conference of the last ten years is: if you can't beat an eastern conference team it's only cuz you are/play like a bunch of pussies.

Five years ago, gentle readers, we had Dirk, Fin-Dog, Raja Bell and Nash and we could not score a point in the fourth quarter to beat los Spurs. We did not have Jason Kidd, then, and we wouldn't have done any better if we had.

I defy anyone to say that, five years later, with no Nash, no Finley, no Bell plus the geriatric twins, Jason Kidd and Jerry Stackhouse, that we are any better. Sure, Kidd's cocaine-fueled baby-momma bashing sessions of his youth are long behind him (allegedly) but he's played 13 seasons at a 37 MPG clip and he's a career 40% shooter (currently in his worst shooting season as pro) with his worst assist to turnover ratio in six years (and in his bottom 3 of the last decade).

Anybody who says this is "Great for Dallas" has gained unlimited access to Rasheed Wallace's personal stash and is exhibiting the optimism so aptly phrased as "The Triumph of Hope over Experience."